You all probably thought I broke both hands whilst fighting a lion, cavegirl style; or perhaps- simply just forgot how to type.
Thankfully, all 10 digits are alive and well. Truth be told- I think about articles all of the time. I have crafted several; one on white potatoes, another on eggs, one on how much I sometimes hate paleo, and approximately 57 recipes with witty titles…one day they will get out of their fragmented form -part draft, part scribbled notes, part inside my head- and onto a screen near you. I digress. Excuse me with my excuses.
Today, we are talking about how to be a lazy-a$$ cook with bad-a$$ food.
Seriously. Who out there doesn’t want to be just that, at least some of the time? Like on a Tuesday night, when none of your three children have had baths (in 48 hours), your dog just rolled in a fresh pile o’dung, you have completely run out of wine, and your significant other got stuck at work late. I bet being a lazy-a$$ cook with bad-a$$ food sounds pretty darn good to you right about now.
Enter: one tool, one sauce…and endless, expedient, excellent meals.
First: the tool. For $9.95, this bad boy will arrive at your door in approx. 2 days. (Click on picture for link. I love Amazon Prime.)
It is a sharp little bugger, so fingers beware. I have had mine for a little over a week and have used it already 4 or 5 times. It works like a champ on squash and zucchini, creating quickly julienned strips that serve as noodles.
It is more work on harder veggies like sweet potatoes and beets. But, lets be honest. You guys are strong. And the end result is delicious. So quit whining. Or buy something that costs more than $10. (Like this guy, which I plan to get one day. I accept gifts, by the way. Just kidding….or am I?)
Next up: the sauce. WARNING: I am stepping firmly into the grey zone with this, because it uses goat yogurt. (Fear not- I also will include the paleo option for you those who are intolerant to dairy in any form.)
- 1 cup goat's milk yogurt
- 1/4 cup Frank's RedHot Original
- 1t. pepper
- 1 cup goat's milk yogurt
- 1/3 cup Frank's
- 1t. pepper
- Combine ingredients in a small sauce pan: Whisk until well combined.
- Heat over medium-high heat until sauce reaches a heavy simmer.
- Slow-simmer on low while you prepare dinner, or cool and store in a sealed container for later use.
- choose your desired heat and substitute 1 cup full-fat coconut milk. (From a can.) Look for a brand with no stabilizers, such as the Golden Star brand pictured above; available at Safeway for less than $2.
- Adjust the heat to your family's liking by adding more or less Frank's. Heat shy? Start with less and add more after your sauce reaches a simmer.
- I used full-fat Redwood Hill Farm Plain Goat Yogurt from Safeway. Trader Joe's also carries their own brand.
Put it all together with protein like the recipe below.
- 1T. coconut oil or butter
- 1lb ground meat
- Medium onion, sliced
- 2.5 cup 'noodles' (julienned zucchini or summer squash; no seeds)
- 3/4 cup Buffalo Goat Sauce or (see recipe)
- 2 cups baby spinach, chopped
- In a large covered pot or pan, melt oil on medium-high heat.
- Sautee sliced onions in oil until soft.
- Add ground meat, brown until cooked thoroughly.
- While meat is browning: julienne zucchini or squash.
- Once meat is cooked, reduce heat to medium-low. Add Buffalo Goat Sauce, cover pan, and heat until simmering.
- Add 'noodles', stir until coated with sauce.
- Cover and cook for 2 minutes.
- Serve immediately over bed of chopped baby spinach.
- If desired; heat additional sauce in a separate pot, serve along with finished dish.
- Substitute noodles for whatever julienned vegetable you choose: F or firmer vegetables, increase cooking time until soft. .
Less time in the kitchen means more time for GAINZ. Now THAT is bad-a$$.
Until Next Time…
noun \ˈper-ə-ˌdīm, ˈpa-rə- also -ˌdim\
: a model or pattern for something that may be copied
: a theory or a group of ideas about how something should be done, made, or thought about
Eating real food
has somehow turned into a runaway reality show. Maybe you recall when The Real World first came out. It was 1992. Reality tv was a novel idea. Now, in 2014, I dare say that the number of reality shows far outweighs traditional shows. If nothing else, it seems their popularity does. And, holy moly, are these reality shows BAD. Bad on so many levels. Toddlers and Tiaras? My 600lb Life? The Bachelor #4,875? 16 & Pregnant?
SERIOUSLY. It’s BAD.
A novel concept 20yrs ago - reality tv- got so morphed, re-conceptualized, tweaked, and ‘perfected’; that a gargantuan, convoluted, money-making, monster now exists today. With no end in sight.
Sort of like paleo (aka EATING REAL FOOD) has been Frankensteined into a paleo-pancake-pumpkin bread-pasta-wrap-muffin-cupcake Google Search disaster.
A paleo cupcake is a cupcake…A bowl of berries is real food.
Most parents censor what their children watch on TV, especially during their young, formative years.
A newbie learning how to eat a diet centered around meat, seafood, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and berries should not be wandering around the world wide web. A great deal of the recipes labeled as paleo are preposterous…It’s like a preschooler watching reality TV. The kid knows just enough to laugh when it is funny, but has no clue that repeating things when she gets to school are going to land her in time-out.
Don’t get me wrong , I love many of these ‘paleo’ websites. BUT. If you’re just learning how to eat and cook real food, and you stumble across a paleo chocolate covered donut….do you know what happens? You get really excited. And you buy $57 worth of ‘paleo’ baking goods to make said donut. You get less concerned about how to eat differently and more focused on how to find the right substitution. You know what does not happen?
You do not learn how to eat real food.
Those of you who are learning to eat real food (whether it is for the first or fiftieth time) need to consider quitting reality TV. Many of these sites have taken paleo…eating meat, seafood, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and berries…so far from what it is intended to be that you’ll be hard-pressed to find yourself on the path that leads to fueling a healthy body with real food.
Will there come a day when you can eat a baked treat that’s made of ingredients that could possibly construed as paleo? Perhaps. But until you’ve learned to eat real food, you aren’t truly giving yourself the opportunity to decide whether or not you even want to.
How will you know?
If you’re still wondering “is that paleo?” …you are not there yet. Because cupcakes are not paleo. Cookies are not paleo. I don’t care what they’re made of. Quit watching The Voice and start singing on your own.
Shift the paradigm. Don’t be phaleo.
Here are some great go-to sites for eating real food:
Until Next Time…
With newly fueled, intense feelings about how much BAD FOOD may still be hiding in your life.
I want you to live a long, strong, bada$$ life. I want you to do this by lifting heavy (preferably at CFR, of course), and by avoiding little white lies.
They are bad for your health, you know this-your parents have been telling you this since you were 5: ”Honesty is the best policy”. This we know. So, don’t skip reps in your WOD, and
DO NOT EAT VEGETABLE OIL.
Vegetable oil? What is wrong with vegetables?!? (And better yet, what does vegetable oil have to do with little white lies?)
Great questions. Nothing is wrong with vegetables. Eat them until the grass-fed cows come home.
Vegetable oil, on the other hand, is a lie. It is not made of vegetables. Think about it for a moment: when is the last time you were in the produce section thinking, “Man, that cauliflower looks extra greasy today….”. Yeah, that would be never.
Now an even better question: when is the last time you picked up some delicious rapeseed or canola at the farmers market? Yeah, that would also be never. Read on to find out why…
Vegetable oils (and margarine, made from these oils) are oils extracted from seeds like the rapeseed , soybean, corn, sunflower, safflower, etc. They were practically non-existent in our diets until the early 1900s when new chemical processes allowed them to be extracted. Unlike butter or coconut oil, these vegetable oils can’t be extracted just by pressing or separating naturally. They must be chemically removed, deodorized, and altered.
“During WWII, inedible rapeseed oil was used as a high-temperature lubricant on steam ships, but with the switch to diesel engines in the following decade, industrial demand declined. Initially, consumer demand for rapeseed oil was negligible because it naturally contains high amounts of erucic acid.(–a substance associated with heart lesions in laboratory animals–) Erucic acid was enough of a concern that in 1956, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned rapeseed oil for human consumption. In addition, demand for rapeseed meal was low because of high levels of glucosinolates, a compound that at high doses depresses animal growth rates.
By the early 1970s, plant breeders developed low-erucic acid rapeseed (LEAR) varieties that also had low glucosinolate content. In 1978, the Western Canadian Oilseed Crushers Association registered these varieties with the name “canola” for marketing reasons. (…CANada OiL…) Over the next 10 years, European seed producers also developed LEAR varieties, which they dubbed “double-zero” or “canola-equivalent.”
Because of the higher palatability of LEAR varieties, FDA granted the oil produced from LEAR varieties Generally Recognized as Safe (GRAS) status on January 1, 1985. With its low level of saturated fat, LEAR oil appealed to health-conscious consumers, and production increased steadily.” (CLICK for source: USDA Economic Research Service)
So, canola oil has been GENERALLY REGARDED AS SAFE (?!? Seriously. I have more than a ‘general regard’ for the safety of people I don’t even like. Researching this is giving me nightmares) since 1985, it is genetically modified, and it is found in a majority of items on the inside aisles of your local grocery store. From organic salad dressing, to sports drinks and ice cream, to fluffy loaves of bread.
Just to reiterate… your great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and you, never touched this stuff until 1985, because it was either stuck in a pretty yellow flower and inaccessible, or because it was BANNED.
Just take one gander at the increase of use in the last few decades…
Wait, are you still wondering why canola is referred to as a vegetable oil?
You WILL have a reaction to this video.
And you REALLY need to watch it: use your sharp, conventional-wisdom-questioning eye…
Seems pretty natural, right?!? You’re just dying to run back to the low-fat craze, aren’t’ ya? (Death pun intended) That ‘first solution’ they refer to? It’s hexane. And after you take the ‘vegetable’ oil home and use it to cook with…it further oxidizes and becomes even more dangerous. ‘Chemical analysis shows that even bottles of organic, expeller-pressed canola oil contain as much as 5% trans fats, plus cyclic hydrocarbons (carcinogens) and oxyphytosterols (highly damaging to arteries). (Shanahan,2009, Deep Nutrition, 181) No. I actually want to go home and eat kerrygold butter from the tub after watching that. Right after I go to all of my relatives’ homes and throw out their vegetable shortening. And then buy a cow to feed grass so I know my meat isn’t chocked full of CANOLA CAKE. Unless it’s fueling your diesel VW…I don’t think I need to answer that one for you. So, no more little white lies….do not cheat yourself on your wod, and do not ingest steam ship lubricant. Until Next Time… Mallory
Ew, ew, EW!
ARE WE SCARED OF GOOD FATS?
ARE WE SCARED OF HEXANE-WASHED-SUPER-HEATED-CENTRIFUGED-BLEACHED-DEODORIZED-DESLUDGED-PRETTY-YELLOW-FLOWER-OIL?
I actually want to go home and eat kerrygold butter from the tub after watching that.
Right after I go to all of my relatives’ homes and throw out their vegetable shortening. And then buy a cow to feed grass so I know my meat isn’t chocked full of CANOLA CAKE.
Unless it’s fueling your diesel VW…I don’t think I need to answer that one for you.
So, no more little white lies….do not cheat yourself on your wod, and do not ingest steam ship lubricant.
Until Next Time…
Join us in congratulating our 2014 Be Strong Challenge Winners!
First Place and winner of $500.00 and a free month membership Goes to Sindi Eyler.
Second Place and $350.00 goes to Danielle Marsalek
In a tie for third place was Jason Eckard and Holly Rowe. They each received $150.00.
Every participant had unbelievable results and picking this year’s winner was one of the most difficult decisions we have made. Hands down, this was one of our best challenges with the biggest changes we have probably ever witnessed. We are so proud of all who participated and we hope you got as much out of it as we did witnessing your amazing progress. We sincerely hope you learned more about proper nutrition and its effects on body composition and performance , but more importantly, that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to do. We also hope these effects will stick with you and that you’ll spread the good word to any friends at CFR or non-members you feel could benefit from a Be Strong Challenge.
If you or someone you know would like to participate in our next Be Strong Challenge and reap the awesome rewards, please have them contact us for further information at email@example.com. Please check out Sindi’s fabulous results below to see how FIVE WEEKS can transform your body and change your life! Congratulations to all participants involved and thank you for making this such a successful Be Strong Challenge!
Today puts you at 85 food-points into CFR’s 2014 Be Strong Challenge.
The literal half way mark…80 food-points to go!
How’s it going? Noticing anything yet?
My bet is that all of you have started noticing some sort of change. Maybe the pants are a little looser. Perhaps that black coffee didn’t taste exactly like burnt tar this morning. Less congestion could be occurring for many of you since cutting out wheat and dairy. What to eat for lunch may no longer be a heart-wrenching, pain-inflicting decision process. Clearer heads and no mid-afternoon crashes, anyone? Better mood and sleep are likely an unexpected side effect for a few of you as well.
You can bet that your coaches already see a change in many of you. It is shocking how much body composition can change in just 85 points.
Shocking until you think about why this change is so marked. By completely cutting out grains, added sugars, and dairy from your food intake, each of you Challengers have eliminated a whole host of BAD NEWS from your body. Bad news you may not have even realize you were inundating yourself with. Boston cream donuts? Sure, you may have realized they weren’t the best dietary decision. But I bet many of you didn’t think that your wheat toast smeared in smart balance was inflicting the kind of inflammation in your system (from brain to bowels) that can set you up for a whole host of auto-immune issues; from allergies to IBS to heart disease. Dr. Loren Cordain, who is basically the Father Christmas of the Paleo Diet sums up the changes up very well:
I know that Paleo perks up mood and mental outlook in people who are seemingly normal without depression, or other mental disorders. Robb Wolf and I have heard anecdotal success stories from people all over the world whose lives have been improved from the Paleo diet and have cured themselves from chronic depression, bipolar disorder, and other psychotic illnesses, including ADHD, autism and Asberger’s syndrome in their children. I believe that multiple elements of the Paleo Diet operate in synchrony to normalize brain function. The brain is no different than any other organ in the body, as all organs respond positively when their internal mileau/environment is returned to “normal” as dictated by our genes. Besides it’s low glycemic and fructose load, the Paleo Diet is devoid of wheat which produces opiods in the gut upon digestion and which can bind brain opiod receptors. Similarly, the digestion of casein in all milk products produces casomorphins which also influence brain opiod receptors. The Paleo Diet is rich in long chain omega three fatty acids which also have been demonstrated clinically to reduce depression and improve mental health. Finally, this lifelong way of eating is much more nutritionally dense in the micronutrients (vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals) required for optimal nervous system function than either the USDA My Plate diet, the Meditteranean Diet, vegan or vegetarian diets or any other popular diet people follow. (check out this link for the fascinating post called ‘Grain and the Brain’ that this excerpt was pulled from)
While we at CFR know and love that each one of you are unique snowflakes, we also truly believe that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU will benefit in some way from doing the Be Strong Challenge. Why? Because it is true. Try this on for size:
In 2009, Dr. Frasetto and co-workers put nine inactive subjects on a Paleo diet for just 10 days. In this experiment, the Paleo diet was exactly matched in calories with the subjects’ usual diet. Anytime people eat diets that are calorically reduced, no matter what foods are involved, they exhibit beneficial health effects. So the beauty of this experiment was that any therapeutic changes in the subjects’ health could not be credited to reductions in calories, but rather to changes in the types of food eaten. While on the Paleo diet either eight or all nine participants experienced improvements in blood pressure, arterial function, insulin, total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol and triglycerides. What is striking about this experiment is how rapidly so many markers of health improved, and that they occurred in every single patient. ( Frassetto LA, Schloetter M, Mietus-Synder M, Morris RC, Jr., Sebastian A: Metabolic and physiologic improvements from consuming a paleolithic, hunter-gatherer type diet. Eur J Clin Nutr 2009)
This is the real deal. You Challengers have taken a huge leap of faith and tried something totally different. (Even if it is the second…or fifth time.) Maybe you did it for the money. Maybe because your WOD-buddy made you do it. Maybe because you can’t pass up a challenge thrown your way. Maybe your it was your New Year Resolution to lose weight or eat better.
Well guess what. The proof is in the pudding. And sorry, Challengers, but you have (proverbial) pudding all over your faces.
a firm decision to do or not to do something.
♠ ♣ ♥ ♦
a forcible overthrow of a government or social order in favor of a new system.
You have 80 points left to think about what this 2014 Be Strong Challenge will be for you: