Snail Mail
Can you imagine what it would be like if you received as much snail mail as you do email?
I think, at this point, that the world would be so full of snail mail, that we could just sled first to work, and then over to CFR on paper white mountains. Long sleeves and pants would be a must year round, no matter the occasion-can you fathom the paper cuts?!?
No, you can’t. Bless you. Only the ‘special’ ones like me think this way.
I get way too many emails. This is only because I have an email accounts for non-emails…you know, the emails that aren’t actually from people. The emails promising you a better deal than the same company’s email from 12 seconds ago…This way, when I check my REAL email, I can feel….depressed. Now that my friends and family know I refuse to respond to anything which seals either my fortune or my defeat…it’s a surprisingly void mailbox.
AND. I still check my ‘other’ email…because deep in the dark depths of said email, lay the (very few and far between) coupons. For something I actually use and do not just want. The FOOD coupons.
Another defeating action, beyond the lacking ‘real’ email, is clipping coupons. If you are a paleo lady or gent, there really are VERY few coupons that require your attention. Since you are sticking to the standard perimeter scaenario at the grocery store, or hitting up the local farmers’ market, coupons are either nonexistant or extremely few and far between.
If it is not already, the world wide web is about to become your friend for all kinds of paleo items. As promised, this week will chronicle where on earth (lol, get it?) to purchase your internet goods.
These goods can have you thickening paleo gravies and patting out pizza crust in no time. And for loads less than the dusty bags you may find on shelves in Carroll County.
**Disclaimer: please remember that a cupcake, is a cupcake. If body composition is the thing you complain, ahem…worry about, on a daily basis, then stick to REAL food. Why haven’t’ you seen paleo renditions of chicken parmesan or stromboli on here? Because until you figure out how to FUEL with food, it can be your worst frenemy. Tasting delicious, but waiting for you with a fake smile by your locker filled with snakes. (That made no sense. But think 80′s movie and please say you understand me, friends?) Remember:if body composition is your current goal…Fill your plate with meats and green veggies. Have berries for dessert. The End**
I bring this to you in the spirit of the holidays….and know thing that for some of you (us) it just won’t feel like December if you can’t roll out some cookie dough or watch your kids dive headfirst into a cinnamon roll. If this is you, don’t succumb to your old ways…try something new which will help you better sustain the many changes you have made to your food since finding CFR. You aren’t going to stop going to the gym until January 1…so PLEASE don’t throw away the nutritional leaps and bounds you have made. (((ALWAYS AVOID ALL GLUTEN!!)))
Say Hello To My Little Friend
Coconut Flour- AMAZON.COM , Tropical Traditions (Coupons come from Topical Traditions! Flour and Coconut Oil!)
Blanched Almond Flour- Honeyville (Bob’s Red Mill is a great company but I would avoid his almond flour..it is closer to a meal than a flour and will lead to a texture your kiddos may question) (COUPONS , too!)
Almond Meal- Trader Joe’s $4.99 (canNOT be substituted in most baking recipes where almond flour is called for…it is too grainy and will yield icky results. Great for banana breads and coating things like pan-fried or baked chicken or fish)
Flax Seed Meal- Acts a ‘binder’ when baking. (Since we are anti-gluten!) AMAZON.COM, local grocers and many of your gourmet sections of stores like TJ Maxx, Marshalls will carry these for similar prices.
Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips- Chocolate chips sans dairy in any form. Currently almost half price ($2.99 vs regular $4.99) at Giant if you can get your hand on a bag…or 10!) AMAZON.COM (chips, chunks)
Coconut Flakes-Tropical Traditions, Bob’s Red Mill on Amazon (great buy!)
Coconut Sugar- Roots , MOM’s and Sonnewald’s in Hanover, PA all carry Coconut Secret (found from your living room on AMAZON)
Coconut Milk- look for one without any preservatives or stabilizers like guar gum. Found at specialty stores and online: Aroy-D. Let us know when you find a great buy, like the Grace Coconut Milk I was able to buy at Big Lots in Westminster for $1/can all summer (not there as of 12/1/12)
Honey- Local is best. Said to be great for allergies. Head to your farmers market, even in the winter, and grab some! Carroll County Farmers Market
These Blogs will Bake you Happy
I might have a little crush on Amazon. (It has nothing to do with my height. And I receive no royalties.)
No one has to be perfect to be awesome sauce.
Perfect is simply unattainable, which actually makes it the opposite of awesome sauce.
Just be you, trying harder.
Until next time…
Mallory
Share[/facebook] [/twitter]Call Me an Elf ONE MORE TIME…
For those of you who do not yet know, I may have a tiiiiiny bit of a ‘thing’ for the movie Elf. I never really understood people who could watch movies over and over. Until I saw Elf. Then I understood. And now, 10 years later, I still laugh. Every.single.time. (Smiling’s my favorite!)
Buddy The Elf...what's your favorite color?
Lets be clear about a few things. I don’t watch Elf until after Thanksgiving. Yes, I start getting really excited about the prospect after Halloween rolls around, but I hold out. UNLESS, it is on television the very rare times I am watching. (Which is rare. Like I just got 8 channels last week. (They are free, FYI. Obvi.) Aaaand 6 of them are MPT. I mean, I referred to it as TELEVISION. I sound like Laura Engalls Wilder, for crying out loud. Maybe I really need to watch more television, er, tv.) Also, if we watch Elf together, I will not talk you through the movie. That is an IRRITATING quality. If you have it you should loose it. Or at least do it less. OK fine, I might sing some. (Baby, it’s cold outside..)
Alright. Transition time…per the usual, I am headed somewhere with this. (THE YELLOW ONES DON’T STOP!)
There are a lot of things you cannot change in life. Like being an elf. Either you are born an elf and work at the North Pole, or you are born a regular-sized person and work not at the North Pole. (Even Will Ferrell couldn’t do it.) Your family is another thing that you cannot change, though some people would like to think this is not a true statement. Whether or not you are tone deaf. That annoying sound you make when you really start laughin hard. The fact you have a longer toe on only one foot. Your row face. Your back squat face. Your face ( lol! Ok maybe with enough $ you can change this a lil bit).
Anyone seeing a pattern here?
There is no changing your genes (not your jeans, you can change those ones). You’re stuck with them. So you need to treat them well.
And that means eating food that your genes like, and that they have been molded to like over the past hundreds of thousands of years. Not the past 100. Or 500. Or even 10,000. Turns out that when we listen to this rule, other things we used to think we could NOT change, begin to change.
Meats, fish, veggies, eggs, nuts, seeds, berries. Repeat.
Been feeling tired lately? Yeah. Running through the drive through will do that.
Meats, fish, veggies, eggs, nuts, seeds, berries. Repeat.
IBS acting up? Tums in every area of the house? More blemishes on your skin than you would care to have at age 35? Mysterious aches and pains? (Not to be confused with those inflicted by wall walks or wall balls. Damn walls.)
Meats, fish, veggies, eggs, nuts, seeds, berries. Repeat.
Diabetes? Blood pressure concerns? Heart disease run in your family? Or maybe it’s cancer?
Meats, fish, veggies, eggs, nuts, seeds, berries. Repeat.
Wait a minute. Fixing what goes into our mouth and changing our health? Even things previously thought of as conditions that cannot change!??!
That food combination almost sounds paleo…
Well I’ll be an elf’s uncle. Your genes like paleo!!
A Paleolithic diet is a modern dietary regimen based on foods presumably eaten regularly during the Paleolithic, which includes lean meat, fish, shellfish, fruits, vegetables, roots, eggs and nuts, but not grains,dairy products, salt or refined fats and sugar, which became staple foods long after the appearance of fully modern humans.(link to article)
Eat meats, fish, veggies, eggs, nuts, seeds, berries. Repeat. Notice positive change. Celebrate by watching Elf.
(Psssst! I know this is old news for some of you, particularly our awesome sauce paleo challenge graduates. But have you SEEN how busy CFR has been? Our lovely newbies need some extra paleo-lovin’!)
Your genes will also like this bisque. Particularly on a cold day. Which works out well since it is almost December.
Ginger Jalapeno Butternut Bisque
(It’s NOT spicy!)
Your genes approve.
- 1 Butternut Squash, peeled, seeded, and diced
- 1/2 sweet onion, cut into large chunks
- 3 whole cloves of garlic, peeled
- 1/2 jalapeno, with seeds, sliced
- 1 tsp fresh ginger, peeled and thin sliced
- 1 1/2 cups crockity stockity (or other, lesser, chicken stock)
- 1/2 can full fat coconut milk
- salt and pepper, to taste (start with approx 1 tsp each, less salt if using boxed chicken stock)
1. Prep all ingredients, as listed.
2.Mix all ingredients together in your handy dandy crock pot.
3. Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours.
4. Transfer contents of crock pot into your blender or food processor and puree until smooth. (You will likely have to do this in batches.)
This makes a LOT of bisque (approx 2 quarts+). I decided to add shredded chicken to half of mine. Cooked, crumbled sausage or turkey would be delicious as well! (if you are scared of ginger or jalapeno, you can leave them out and it will still be delicious!)
How is that for easy?! Even a Will Ferrell-sized elf could do it! (These toilets are ginormous!)
Fit for an elf!
Next week…your internet directory to help continue to stock your puny & perfect paleo pantry.
Until Next Time…
Mallory
Wheelin’ n Dealin’
Paleo challengers, you are SOOOO close to the finish line…can you taste it? You all are truly awesome sauce- right along with the members who have cheered you through each challenge WOD-good luck with your last leg! (It just occurred to me what an odd expression that is. Now I want to know the origin. I am a dork. **googling**)
Today, we are gonna get right to this weeks important topics: where to get the goods, and a (very pocket-friendly, easy, and $crumptious) meal example.
Incorporated into the next several posts will be my favorite places to buy paleo pantry staples. (Notice the *MY*. Please school me in the comment section if you know better. Competition is fun, and sometimes makes you richer.) My favored places may not always be the lowest price, but perhaps they are the most convenient to Westminster, or can be delivered to your front stoop. Time is money, people! (Money is also still money.)
Why am I listing these places, you ask? Well, because I want to keep whittling out the room for excuses. I feel at this point, that most of you know WHY you should go paleo. I feel at this point, most of you AGREE paleo is ideal for your health, quality of life, and longevity. (New to CrossFit Retribution? Have no idea what in tarnation we are talking about?…you may find it helpful to go back to the beginning of the nutrition blog (like here!) and move forward!) Also, like 57 of you ask me this kind of “where should I get ___” question on a weekly basis.
FATS (click here for a refresher of why we love the stuff)
Coconut Oil- Anywhere but Westminster. You laugh, but I am serious! At Trader Joe’s, a jar of coconut oil is $5.99. Tropical Traditions online is a great place to buy, especially in bulk, and once you are on the email list for coupons. Personally, at the recommendation of others at CFR, I finally decided to sign up for a ‘suscribe and save’ on amazon.com. I receive a delivery every three months and no longer even have to think about it! (Or drive to Pikesville!) **Coconut oil is a SOLID at room temp-don’t be put off by this fact! It melts in a snap and there is NOTHING wrong with it! It becomes liquid around 72degrees.**
Kerrygold Butter-grassfed. delicious. $5.99 for a 17.6oz tub at BJ’s Wholesale. They might as well give it away. A serious steal.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil- honestly, I buy what is on sale. The last several months, Giant has had store-brand EVOO for $3.99/ 17oz. Make sure it is 100% olive oil. NO veggie/canola/crap oils added. (I once read this crazy article on the seriousness of ‘underground’ oil sales and Italian-Olive-Oil-Mob-Bosses and haven’t really trusted the labels since then….seriously. But I digress…)
Extra Light Olive Oil- See above. This is still 100% olive oil. It has to do with the distillation process. It may also read “exta light tasting” olive oil (just check your label to make sure it is not hiding another oil) .I have also been buying this at Giant for the same price. This is a must have for making your own mayonnaise. One 17 oz bottle will get you approx 2.5 batches of mayo. Trader Joe’s and Shoppers are also good places to check.
I always have fun looking in the ‘gourmet food’ sections of places like Marshall’s, TJMaxx, etc. I almost always find fabulous paleo fats with fantastic price tags. I have purchsed walnut oil, avocado oil, coconut oil, and high-quality extra-virgin olive oil for pennies on the dollar. (I know HomeGoods in Mt. Airy has coconut oil right now…you know you wanna go…)
Okey dokey artichokey…there is your first little list. If I gave you all the tips at one time, you would want to punch me in the mouth the next time I see you because of your grocery bill. It’s all about wheelin’ n dealin’. Patience, Grasshoppers.
Go fly a kite. I mean, make some dinner.
$almon $alad
$2.88 per person…IS THIS HAPPENING? It’s a Thanksgiving miracle!
Chop:
1/2 a jalapeno, 1/2 a red pepper, 1 stalk celery, 1/4 a cucumber, and a handful of cherry tomatoes.
Open your salmon and drain. Empty into a large bowl, and using a fork, flake the salmon.
Add all of your chopped veggies, a little salt and pepper, and three tablespoons of homemade mayo.
These ingredients don't even scream cheap skate. They should.
Mix with a fork until combined.
And they called you....Sir Mix a lot.
Cut avocados in half, remove pits.
Put your $almon $alad on top
Close up! Oh. Yum.
Place green beans in a pot on medium heat and steam while you make the salad.
(Or go the microwave route. I still don’t have one.)
To make salad:
Place arugula in a large bowl.
Using a vegetable peeler, make ‘ribbons’ out of the remainder of your cucumber. Add to bowl.
Pour 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil and 1/3 cup vinegar of choice (I like white balsamic for dressings) over greens.
Salt and Pepper to your liking.
Stir greens until evenly coated.
If you have any, put a few raspberries on top because they are pretty and delicious, and add a hint of sweet.
- At under $3 a plate, it’s safe (but presentable!) for a date you aren’t sure you like. like a spouse. or a child. ohhh, snap!
I challenge you to spend $12 at the fast food drive through for your family of four. You all have to be full. And feel good about what you ate, or fed your chilluns’.
NO I DO NOT. That is an impossible challenge. Stay away from there and make $almon $alad instead.
Or see what paleo deliciousness you can make with $12…and let us know so we can copy!
Until Next Time…
Mallory
Grocery Sprinting Debunked
One has to go to school for a LONG time to be a real rocket scientist.
You only have to read this post to be a grocery sprinting rocket scientist.
Lucky duck.
In part two of how to be a grocery sprinter, we will round out your ‘pantry’ with the few items you may want to keep on hand (ones that don’t come directly from their mother or from the earth). I use the term pantry loosely-you could probably pick out a nice sized cabinet to use and then buy more lifting shoes and funny workout shirts to better fill the old space that was your pantry.
The items we will list today will do one of 4 things:
- Help cook (oils, butter, ghee)
- Add Flavor (above, spices & seasonings)
- Decrease prep time and/or expense
- Provide suitable options in a pinch
Many, but not all, of these items can be found in our local stores. Unlike part one of grocery sprinting, you will need to quickly (and carefully) brave the inner-aisles to stock your pantry. (It’s hard to say exactly which aisle, it will vary with your store of choice!) Many, but not all, of these items can be found online for a friendlier price. Many, but not all, of these items would be nice to have on hand rightthissecond. Alas, buying them all in one trip is probably not the way to love paleo. That may actually make you, and your wallet, shed a tear or two. Please don’t let that discourage you. Add a few staples to each grocery sprinting trip, and you will be fully stocked before you can say “Staples, that was easy”. (More specifics on this topic to come!) Once you are a stocked-sprinter, these items tend to rotate in their need to be replenished.
This pantry clearly has issues.
Pantry items will fall into two (loose) categories. (We could get nit-picky and super-specific, but then we would be here all day, which would not be awesome-sauce. Awesome-sauce is ALWAYS a goal.)
The categories are:
1. Tools of the Trade: Paleo Staples.
Oils (coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, extra light olive oil), spices & seasonings (sea salt and fresh pepper are a must!), nut/seed butters (almond, sunflower, tahini, coconut butter), ghee, grass-fed butter, coconut aminos (this is a delicious substitute for soy sauce), almond flour, coconut flour, flake coconut (unsweetened!), honey, 100% cocoa powder, chicken broth, lemon/lime juice, dried mushrooms, vinegar (white, apple cider, balsamic, red wine, etc)…
Canned items: tomatoes (whole, diced, crushed, sauce, paste), olives, coconut milk, tuna, sardines, salmon, pumpkin puree, beets, etc.
2. Snack Attack: Paleo-esque options to have ready when hunger strikes and a new or leftover meal is not an option/what you want:
Roasted nuts and seeds (remember peanuts are a LEGUME), plantain chips, guacamole, sugar-free salsa, dates, really dark chocolate (like 70%+), dill pickles, larabars, etc.
**REMEMBER**
ANYTIME you buy ANYTHING that is packaged…check the label for ingredients. There are a million hidden ingredients in the most innocent looking items. (High Fructose Corn Syrup in my dill pickles?! Vegetable broth and food starch in canned tuna?!! What in the what?!!?)
Next up, we will talk in more specifics about the best place to purchase many of these staples, as well as address why eating paleo does not mean having to steal from your kids’ piggy banks. Plus plan a delicious meal that will run a family of four less than $12.00.
Now sign & date on this line, you rocket scientist:
_______________________________________
You’re official.
Did I miss your favorite pantry item? Leave it in the comments, Grocery Sprinter!
(P.S. Have you used the search function on this site? You may just find an answer to that question that is bugging you!)
Until Next Time…
Mallory
ShareThe Elusive 400m Sprint
Too legit to quit.
Oh, grocery store. You continue to keep many in your vice-like grip, wandering up and down each aisle, wasting their precious time and hard earned dollars. Not me…I have conquered you. And now, I am going to tell the secret to all who will listen:
Paleo grocery shopping is like a 400 meter sprint.
This is what we at CFR know about 400 meter sprints:
- The mere mention, be it run or row, (even after they’re over) results in grumbling. (Seriously, ask any coach.);
- Sprinting? Lets be honest-most of us (Troy excluded) can’t really sprint that distance (particularly if that blasted hill-side is involved);
- If you start out too fast, you’ll be sorry;
- Mental preparation is required;
- It’s not about how fast the other guys and gals are going;
- They aren’t as awful as they first appear; and
- When you’re finished, you are pretty dang proud of yourself.
Alter a few words, and sprinting all of the sudden sounds exactly like grocery shopping. Watch this handiwork:
This is what we at CFR know about 400 meter sprints grocery shopping:
- The mere mention, be it
run or rowday or night, (even after it’s over) results in grumbling. (Seriously, ask anycoachadult.); SprintingShopping? Lets be honest-most of uscan’t really sprint that distance (particularly if that blasted hill-side is involved)would rather spend money on something that won’t end up in the toilet (literally!);- If you start out too fast, you’ll be sorry;
- Mental preparation is required;
- It’s not about how fast the other guys and gals are going;
They aren’tIt’s not as awful as it first appears; and- When you’re finished, you are pretty dang proud of yourself.
How ’bout them apples?!? Sprinting = Grocery Shopping.
Grocery Sprinting
Until Carroll County gets this, follow these:
So, now that we have proven this, let me be your grocery sprinting coach. There are a few key areas to remember. Stick to these ideas and I guarantee you will cut both time and dread factor by at least a third. (I totally just picked that amount at random. But if you have a stomach and a brain it will probably help.)
-
Have a plan. I don’t mean you have to know exactly what you are making, although if you are that organized I give you mad props. I usually operate on the ‘I need 3 dinners and 2 lunches so that means I need __amount of meat’ plan.
-
Stick to the perimeter. Here is your map:
-
Produce section. Free game. Anything your heart desires (other than corn, which they should put in a different aisle). Easy on the fruit. (Did you know there are ‘discount’ bananas for .29/lb at giant? I digress…)
-
Egg aisle. (These I run out of EVERY week. I swear.) Oh, and grab your kerrygold butter.
-
Meat Department. Again, free game. (Go hog wild. Or cow. Or chicken…Just do it.)
Veggies-check. Eggs-check. Meat-check.
And you’re done. No, I didn’t send you down the wrong route, it’s really that easy. (This is not a trip where you need pantry staples. You have them. Check back next week for more on that topic.)
Best.time.ever.
You’re now a certified Grocery Sprinter. What are your Grocery Sprinting Tips?
Until Next Time…
Mallory
Share